After his friend former Soundgarden and Audioslave frontman Chris Cornell died two months ago from a suspected suicide, Linkin Park frontman Chester Bennington wrote a letter of thanks to his friend hoping he would find peace in "the next life."
Bennington wrote. "Your talent was pure and unrivaled…Your voice was joy and pain, anger and forgiveness, love and heartache all wrapped into one. I suppose that's what we all are."
Bennington sang the Leonard Cohen song "Hallelujah" at Cornell's funeral.
In the following months, on Cornell's birthday, Bennington's was also found dead in an suspected suicide.
Although these are high profile cases, the single biggest killer of men between 20 and 49 is suicide. Part of the problem is that when men become depressed, they conceal their feelings and prefer not to seek help. While it's more likely that women will tell someone if they feel depressed.
Although it's not generally common place for men to confide in someone. This is slowly changing and men are speaking out from Rio Ferdinand to Professor Green and Prince's William and Harry.
I'm currently reviewing the Mind Journal by Ollie Aplin. For those not ready to talk to someone but want to express themselves privately, this journal will benefit you greatly, by providing a base for you to start from, and express yourself freely.
Beyond journaling for confidential support on mental health call Samaritans free from any phone, at any time, on 116 123 (UK & RoI) or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Everyone's on their own path and it's not for me to tell you what works for you. Below are a selection of quotes from some wise heads, which I hope resonate with you.
The true definition of mental illness is when the majority of your time is spent in the past or future, but rarely living in the realism of NOW.
Shannon L. Alder
"The greatest act of courage is to be and to own all of who you are without apology, without excuses, without masks to cover the truth." Debbie Ford
"When i pushed people away it was actually when i needed people the most." Cindie Anne
"You don't have to be positive all the time. It's perfectly okay to feel sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated, scared or anxious." Lori Deschene
"Be proud of every step you take towards stability, no matter how big or small.” Jessica Ann Hardy
"If you can sit with your pain, listen to your pain and respect your pain, in time you will move through your pain."
"Healing doesn't mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls your life."
"The best way out is always through." Robert Frost
"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves."
Henry David Thoreau
"Feelings are much like waves, we can't stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf."
"You cannot heal a lifetime of pain overnight, be patient with yourself, it takes as long as it takes to rebuild yourself.”
"Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome."
"There’s no right or wrong way to manage your mental illness. You are not less of a person for needing medication or having to go to therapy multiple times a week. If something helps your mental health, take the time to do it. don’t stop, no matter what other people think.”
"Often it's the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self."
“Remember the time you thought you never could survive? You did and you can do it again.”
“Just because you aren’t making progress as fast as you think you should does not mean you aren’t making progress. Keep going.”
“You’re allowed to scream, you’re allowed to cry, but do not give up.”
“You are worth finding, worth knowing, worth loving.”
“I have endured, I have been broken, I have know hardship, I have lost myself. But here I stand, still moving forward, growing stronger each day.”
“What you tell yourself every day will either lift you up or tear you down.”
“My life isn’t good or bad. It’s an incredible series of emotional and mental extremes, with beautiful thunderstorms and stunning sunrises.”
“Don’t give up because of one bad chapter in your life. Keep going. Your story doesn’t end here.”
“Sometimes, all you need is for someone just to be there, even if they can’t solve your problems. Just knowing there is someone who cares can make all the difference.”
"Sometimes the people around you won't understand your journey. They don't need to, it's not for them."
"I'm not weak or mess. I'm a deeply feeling person in a messy world. It takes strength to face and feel what few other people have the courage to acknowledge."
"My dark days made me strong. Or maybe I already was strong, and they made me prove it."
"The sad thing is, Kirkup said, Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else."